...
A little boy having a tantrum, with his ABA therapist making notes.

Supporting a child with autism is a rewarding but complex journey. While many parents and caregivers focus on what they can do to help, it’s equally important to understand what not to do. Certain actions or approaches can unintentionally hinder an autistic child’s development, communication, and self-esteem. 

This article provides a comprehensive guide on the “autism dos and don’ts,” focusing on behaviors to avoid, why they matter, and how to create a nurturing environment.

Understanding Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a neurodevelopmental condition characterized by challenges in communication, social interaction, and repetitive behaviors. Each autistic child is unique, with varying needs and abilities. While some may require minimal support, others might need significant assistance with daily tasks and emotional regulation.

What Are the Needs of a Child with Autism?

Children with autism often need:

  • Sensory accommodations: Managing sensitivities to light, sound, touch, or taste.
  • Predictable routines: Reducing anxiety through structured schedules.
  • Communication support: Using verbal or non-verbal methods like visual aids.
  • Social skill-building: Learning how to interact in different settings.

Recognizing these needs is essential for fostering growth and reducing stress.

What Not to Do With an Autistic Child

Here are some Autism Dos and Don’ts that you should keep in mind.

1. Avoid Overwhelming Them With Tasks

Autistic children can struggle with processing multiple instructions at once due to sensory or cognitive challenges. For example:

  • Asking them to perform several tasks simultaneously (e.g., “Get your shoes, socks, and jacket”) can lead to frustration or shutdown.
  • Instead, break tasks into manageable steps.

2. Don’t Use Derogatory Language

Language matters deeply. Negative or stigmatizing words can affect an autistic child’s self-esteem and perception of their condition. Always use respectful and affirming language that highlights their strengths rather than focusing solely on challenges.

3. Never Exclude Them From Social Activities

Social exclusion deprives autistic children of valuable opportunities for growth and connection. While they may need accommodations in social settings, inclusion helps build confidence and social skills.

4. Don’t Force Eye Contact

Forcing eye contact can be uncomfortable for many autistic individuals. While eye contact is often emphasized in social norms, it’s essential to respect the child’s comfort level instead of insisting on it.

5. Avoid Assuming Limited Speech Means Limited Understanding

Some autistic children are non-verbal or have limited speech abilities, but this does not mean they lack understanding. Many can comprehend conversations and express themselves through alternative communication methods like sign language or assistive devices.

6. Don’t Focus Solely on “Age-Appropriate” Interests

Autistic children often develop intense passions for specific topics or activities that may not align with typical age expectations. Instead of discouraging these interests, celebrate their enthusiasm as a way to connect with them.

7. Avoid Sensory Overload

Sensory sensitivities are common in autism. Loud noises, bright lights, strong smells, or crowded spaces can lead to meltdowns or shutdowns. Always be mindful of sensory triggers and provide calming alternatives when needed.

8. Don’t Let Them Perceive Autism Negatively

Autistic children must view their condition as part of who they are—not as something undesirable or bad. Negative perceptions can harm their emotional well-being and self-advocacy skills.

9. Neglecting Early Intervention

Early intervention is critical for supporting the development of autistic children. Delaying professional help or therapies such as Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) can hinder progress in communication, social skills, and behavior management. Early intervention programs are tailored to address developmental delays and build essential skills.

10. Ignoring Individualized Education Plans (IEPs)

For school-aged children, neglecting to collaborate on or implement an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) can limit access to necessary accommodations and support. IEPs are designed to meet the unique educational needs of autistic children and ensure they thrive in academic environments.

11. Over-Assisting or Overprotecting

While it’s natural to want to shield your child from challenges, over-assisting them can hinder their independence. Tasks like dressing, tidying up, or preparing simple meals are opportunities for skill-building. Allowing them to take risks within safe boundaries fosters confidence and self-reliance.

12. Comparing Them to Neurotypical Peers

Every child develops at their own pace, and comparing your autistic child to neurotypical peers can lead to unrealistic expectations and frustration. Focus instead on their individual progress and celebrate milestones, no matter how small they may seem.

13. Dismissing Their Interests

Autistic children often have intense interests in specific topics or activities. Dismissing these interests as unimportant can stifle their enthusiasm and creativity. Instead, use these passions as a gateway for learning new skills or fostering social interactions.

14. Overloading Their Schedule

Autistic children may struggle with transitions or sensory overload when their schedules are packed with activities. Overloading their day can lead to exhaustion or meltdowns. Strike a balance between structured activities and downtime for relaxation and sensory regulation.

15. Expecting Instant Mastery of Skills

Teaching life skills takes time, especially for autistic children, who may require repeated practice and patience. Avoid expecting instant mastery of complex tasks; instead, break them into smaller steps and celebrate incremental progress.

16. Ignoring Sensory Needs

Sensory sensitivities are a hallmark of autism, yet they are often overlooked. Ignoring these needs can lead to discomfort or meltdowns. Create a sensory-friendly environment by adjusting lighting, noise levels, textures, or smells based on your child’s preferences.

17. Forcing Neurotypical Behaviors

Expecting an autistic child to conform to neurotypical standards—such as maintaining eye contact or engaging in small talk—can cause unnecessary stress. Instead of forcing these behaviors, focus on building communication skills that feel natural and comfortable for them.

18. Neglecting Social Opportunities

Social interactions may be challenging but are essential for building relationships and communication skills. Avoid isolating your child; instead, provide controlled opportunities for socialization through playdates, group activities, or therapy sessions focused on social skills development.

19. Masking Their Autism Traits

Encouraging a child to suppress their natural behaviors (e.g., stimming) to appear more “normal” can harm their mental health and self-esteem over time. Allow them to express themselves authentically while teaching coping mechanisms for challenging situations.

20. Focusing Solely on Academics

While academic success is important, prioritizing it over emotional well-being or social development can create imbalances in your child’s growth. A holistic approach that includes emotional regulation, physical activity, and creative outlets is essential.

How Little Champs ABA Can Help

At Little Champs ABA, we specialize in Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy designed specifically for children with autism in Colorado and Utah. Our approach emphasizes understanding each child’s unique needs while fostering growth through evidence-based strategies.

Our Services Include:

  1. Individualized Therapy Plans: Tailored interventions based on your child’s strengths and challenges.
  2. Behavioral Support: Teaching coping mechanisms for managing sensory overload or meltdowns.
  3. Skill Development: Enhancing communication skills using verbal and non-verbal methods.
  4. Family Guidance: Equipping parents with tools and strategies for effective support at home.

Contact us today to learn how we can empower your family through compassionate care!

Conclusion

Supporting an autistic child requires patience, understanding, and awareness of what actions may unintentionally hinder their progress. By avoiding common pitfalls like overwhelming tasks or negative language—and embracing positive strategies—you can create an environment where your child thrives.

If you’re seeking expert guidance tailored to your family’s needs in Colorado or Utah, Little Champs ABA is here for you! Let us help you build a brighter future—reach out today to schedule your visit!

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Can a child with autism live a normal life?

Yes! Many autistic individuals lead fulfilling lives when given appropriate support tailored to their needs.

What upsets an autistic child?

Triggers vary but often include sensory overload (e.g., loud noises), unexpected changes in routine, or difficulty communicating their needs.

Can a child with autism be normal?

Autism is part of neurodiversity rather than something that makes someone “abnormal.” With the right support, autistic children can thrive in their own unique ways.

What don’t autistic kids like?

Many dislike sensory triggers such as loud noises or bright lights, unpredictable changes in routine, or being forced into uncomfortable situations like making eye contact.

How to calm down an autistic child having a tantrum?

Create a calm-down zone where they feel safe, reduce sensory stimuli (e.g., dim lights), offer comforting items like sensory toys, and use soothing communication techniques tailored to their needs.

 

Sources:

https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/what-not-to-do-autistic-child/ 

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/parenting-mistakes-you-might-doing-while-raising-your-mona-jamshaid-9ioac

https://webautism.com/10-crucial-mistakes-what-to-avoid-with-an-autistic-child/

https://www.fatherly.com/parenting/big-mistakes-parents-autistic-kids-make-how-avoid-them

https://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/therapies-to-help-with-autism

https://autismsomeassemblyrequired.com/why-is-my-aspie-ungrateful/

https://www.forbrain.com/autism-learning/what-not-to-do-with-an-autistic-child/

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/autism/autism-and-everyday-life/help-for-day-to-day-life/

https://www.autismspeaks.org/blog/five-tips-helped-improve-my-childs-behavior